of miracles and the department of homeland security
I wasn't going to write another entry so soon. I have research to get together, a thesis defence to plot out, a bachelor party to plan, and various odds and ends that need stamps sticking to them (it's true! it's true!).
But last night a miraculous thing arrived in the post. Actually two. One was from the social security office. There are CEO's out there who would poison whole villages for the sake of a 6 or 7 digit number, but me? I got one with 9, oh yes (note to Canadians: A social security number has 9 digits because they were invented by a person who thought that telephone numbers were too easy to remember). (note to non-North Americans: telephone numbers here have 7 digits). (note to people who like to read notes: Don't you feel happy now?).
Anyway, what this means is that my payroll can now function, that I can finally get a missouri email account, access to the libraries, a cell phone if I wanted... Life is now much more possible in the US of A.
The REALLY important thing, though, that arrived in the mail was a flier advertising a "Revelation Now PROPHECY SEMINAR". It is big and colourful and has these great pictures of monsters on the front cover that sent me right back to my misspent youth playing Dungeons and Dragons. On the inside it has this big montage which has pictures of a gun with evidence tags on it, a woman with a third-world looking baby, a starving man, a guy in a gas mask, pipes pouring industrial stuff into a pond, some kid looking despondent, razor wire, and the planet earth (centered about about venezuela by look of it). So clearly they are concerned with the World's problems! But in traditional American fashion they undersell themselves because all the caption says is: "The New Millennium Has Arrived [they have a severe capitalization fetish. Or maybe God does, and I just never realized. That'll Teach Me To Pay More Attention] Confidence, Stability and Security can be yours through these insightful presentations!". So they know about all these big problems in the world, and they just want to make me feel a bit better about myself. Isn't that nice of them! They could have burdened me with solutions to these tricky problems, but instead they took the modest road and just want me to be more confident. Thanks guys, I'm touched!
In other news, due to minor beaurocratic screw ups, and someone guessing I was younger than I am, I was told that I might not be allowed back in the country when I go home next week. Ha ha ha... But it all worked out. I would fill you in with the actual details, but they are frankly boring, and this little precis is way more exciting. In a nutshell it turns out that I'm a "visiting scholar", not an undergrad, the presentation I missed (which turns out to be vitally important) has been rescheduled for later on, and someone signed a little box in a form saying that I can be readmitted to the country. Yaaaay me.
And comments... apparently I'm quick witted, non-culpable, and need new friends (it's all there in the comments section, really truly). Yup, there it is. So... Did you know that "John Stone presents a crystal clear study of the Bible Prophecies affecting you today?" Says so right here! Also, "his enthusiastic dedication to the God of the Bible is contagious." Big relief there, I thought for a minute he might be enthusiastic about the other God. Phew!
But last night a miraculous thing arrived in the post. Actually two. One was from the social security office. There are CEO's out there who would poison whole villages for the sake of a 6 or 7 digit number, but me? I got one with 9, oh yes (note to Canadians: A social security number has 9 digits because they were invented by a person who thought that telephone numbers were too easy to remember). (note to non-North Americans: telephone numbers here have 7 digits). (note to people who like to read notes: Don't you feel happy now?).
Anyway, what this means is that my payroll can now function, that I can finally get a missouri email account, access to the libraries, a cell phone if I wanted... Life is now much more possible in the US of A.
The REALLY important thing, though, that arrived in the mail was a flier advertising a "Revelation Now PROPHECY SEMINAR". It is big and colourful and has these great pictures of monsters on the front cover that sent me right back to my misspent youth playing Dungeons and Dragons. On the inside it has this big montage which has pictures of a gun with evidence tags on it, a woman with a third-world looking baby, a starving man, a guy in a gas mask, pipes pouring industrial stuff into a pond, some kid looking despondent, razor wire, and the planet earth (centered about about venezuela by look of it). So clearly they are concerned with the World's problems! But in traditional American fashion they undersell themselves because all the caption says is: "The New Millennium Has Arrived [they have a severe capitalization fetish. Or maybe God does, and I just never realized. That'll Teach Me To Pay More Attention] Confidence, Stability and Security can be yours through these insightful presentations!". So they know about all these big problems in the world, and they just want to make me feel a bit better about myself. Isn't that nice of them! They could have burdened me with solutions to these tricky problems, but instead they took the modest road and just want me to be more confident. Thanks guys, I'm touched!
In other news, due to minor beaurocratic screw ups, and someone guessing I was younger than I am, I was told that I might not be allowed back in the country when I go home next week. Ha ha ha... But it all worked out. I would fill you in with the actual details, but they are frankly boring, and this little precis is way more exciting. In a nutshell it turns out that I'm a "visiting scholar", not an undergrad, the presentation I missed (which turns out to be vitally important) has been rescheduled for later on, and someone signed a little box in a form saying that I can be readmitted to the country. Yaaaay me.
And comments... apparently I'm quick witted, non-culpable, and need new friends (it's all there in the comments section, really truly). Yup, there it is. So... Did you know that "John Stone presents a crystal clear study of the Bible Prophecies affecting you today?" Says so right here! Also, "his enthusiastic dedication to the God of the Bible is contagious." Big relief there, I thought for a minute he might be enthusiastic about the other God. Phew!
posted by X | 10:11 PM
1 Comments:
I have to say that was almost, but not entirely, incomprehensible. Perhaps the long story might clear things up a bit.
- Your annoying little brother
Post a Comment
<< Home